Women tend to keep less friends than men do. Let’s be honest. Women are driven by emotions, they gossip, and instead of trying to help each other get ahead they are too busy being jealous and covetous. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT Y’ALL DIAMONDS! 😉 Other…women…
Hear me out. I’m not saying men don’t do this, I’m just saying I’ve found it to be more frequent in women. It is important as women to have healthy friendships with other women. We can help each other much more than we do. We don’t lend a hand but we have so much advice to offer. We allow our girlfriends to have too much say so in our lives, and for those of us who are married, I hate to say this but in our marriages as well. We don’t even consult God on whether or not this person is truly our friend in the first place.
Regardless of who is in you friendship circle, whether they are married or single, make sure you are conscious of their tendencies. There is a difference between someone just wanting to know your issues, and someone who will be praying with you through those issues. We all have friends who love to give us advice, but we need to be able to discern what is for us and what’s not. Be wary of ungodly advice. I don’t care who it is from. …Know them which labour among you…1 Thessalonians 5:12. Old friends and new friends alike, should be measured by the same stick. The amount of time you have known someone is not a good way to determine the quality of their friendship. Be very careful in labeling people as your friends. Do not be misled, “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV.
In the Bible, when David assembled his army at Hebron to overtake King Saul he was very particular about the soldiers that were chosen. We like David, should also have a strong support system in our friends and be very particular when choosing them. This account in 1 Chronicles 12, first states that ALL who were there were “equipped for war” (12:23). Are the people you consider your friends equipped to support you and fight with you when your life is chaotic? They need to be prepared for war because a war is not usually one fight. It’s a series of battles.
Here are six other friends you need:
“Caden” – The sons of Simeon were “fit for war” (12:25). Some people are taught to be soldiers, and then there are those who were born to do it. It is just their natural instinct to fight. You need someone like this in your circle that is fearless in battle. I have friends that have lived their entire lives fighting, but they are models of strength and character to me.
“Fallon” – David also took a young man named Zadok, “and from his father’s house twenty two captains” (12:28). All of the other houses represented there came by the hundreds. He only brought twenty two and every last one of them was a captain. A man of authority, seasoned in leadership. If you only delight in the company of followers you will never learn how to be a leader. These friends don’t just sit there. They take initiative and they use wisdom in doing so.
“Rolanda” – Of the sons of Ephraim were men “famous throughout their father’s house” (12:30). This is not to say that your friends should be superstars, or that you should befriend people simply for their status. What I am saying is, that it is great to have resourceful people in your corner. People that know people. It has been my experience with many things acquired in life it is not what you
know, it is who you know.
“Maven” –The sons of Issachar had an, “understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do”(12:32). Sometimes we need guidance. There is nothing wrong with taking advice from your girlfriends, as long as you can discern if it is wise, godly, counsel. As a married woman, it helps to have married friends who have an understanding of life as a married woman. Same with being a mother. Even in other aspects of your life, someone who is wise and well rounded is instrumental to your friendship circle.
“Armani” – Married and single women alike need a Zebulun crew. The Bible describes them as being, “experts in war, with all instruments of war…which could keep rank: they were not of double heart” (12:33)I have one girlfriend that can pray the roof off of the church. I know you know people like this. Maybe it is you in your circle. You need friends that will pray, intercede, and are experts in the weapons of warfare. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6.
If you only have one friend in life, this needs to be her!
She is not double-hearted. The Bible says a man like that is unstable in everything he does. Someone who will change their mind to pet your flesh is not being your friend. When we get caught up in our flesh and try to go against God and do it our way, we need friends who can keep it real with us and tell us the truth whether we like it or not. She can keep rank. She understands where she stands in your life and acts accordingly. She will never try to coerce you to do anything that would compromise your marriage, your integrity, or your salvation.
IF you have friends that do, you need to ask yourself and God, “Why?” You need people that will encourage you to the very end despite what life throws at you.
“Leola” – <--- This really is my best friend's name! :-) The Danites and the house of Asher were able to stick to the battle formations amidst the war. (12:35-36) These friends love you through it all and they won’t change their position no matter how hard the fight gets. A friend loves at all times…Proverbs 17:17.
All of these men assembled to help David fight for Israel, were counted as loyal, and they celebrated with him, going into the war for days. True friends will be loyal and rejoice with you knowing that you are destined for victory because you are a child of the Most High God. My girls know, if one of us win, we ALL win and we go into FULL TURN UP MODE! Remember, it is just as important to make sure you are being the type of friend you desire to have.
If one falls down, his friend can help him up, But pity the man that falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:10 NIV.
Did you see your girlfriends on the list? Which one are you?