Disappointment in life is inevitable. Unfortunately, knowing this doesn’t make them any easier to deal with. At some point we will all experience it, whether through others or self-inflicted. I’ve seen disappointments in marriage caused by failed expectations, and also sometimes brought into the marriage from previous experiences (baggage). It often shapes the way each spouse views and approaches different situations in the marriage, which is why the way we handle them is so important.
- Poor decision making
- Failed friendships and/or relationships
- Failed expectations
…just to name a few, are all roots of disappointment that can be detrimental when left unaddressed or not addressed properly. God is less concerned with our disappointments, and more concerned with how we handle them.
“…but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
According to His Word we should embrace disappointment, tribulation, and suffering, because it makes us better people for the works of His Kingdom.
I will be the first to admit I felt uneasy about this statement and I said to myself, “It’s easier to say that, than to do it. You don’t know what I’m going through.” I’ve got some nerve right?
Well God does know, and He cares. His Word went on to say that our disappointment would EVENTUALLY produce hope. Hope that would not disappoint because we will have an understanding of His love which outweighs anything we could ever face, or go through. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 When we understand how He loves us we will not fear. Fear of disappointment causes us to be faithless, to not be trusting, even to make poor decisions…that ultimately will lead to disappointment and as we just read, torment. Many times the things that disappoint us are products of our own foolish decisions, that we more than likely made in fear. Fear that God won’t send us a mate in “our” timing, fear that He won’t provide the right job, or the right transportation, or money to pay the bills…fear that His Word may or may not be true in our specific situations.
MEMO: GOD’S WORD IS TRUE IN EVERY SITUATION. HE IS NOT A MAN THAT HE SHOULD LIE (Numbers 23:19) AND HE WATCHES OVER HIS WORD, JUST TO SEE IT PERFORMED IN OUR LIVES (Jeremiah 1:12)!
His principles still reign true. Living and learning through these situations even by our own doing makes us better and gives us a hope to do better in the future. Don’t get me wrong disappointments do not always come at our own hands, they are a part of life. The things we hope for will not always happen the way we desire or expect, and it can be devastating. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12 Sometimes we can take such a blow from disappoinntment it will physically make us sick! BUT! When the desire comes…the hope…the understanding of God’ s love…when it comes, it revives us, we are better, and we can successfully get on with our lives.
The key is building our hope on Christ, and not anything or anyone else. Placing our hope on God allows us to see our lives so much clearer. We process our thoughts more cautiously. God encourages us to seek counsel when making plans (Proverbs 15:22), to commit our works to him (Proverbs 16:3), to wait on Him to avoid self-inflicted disappointment, and that it is better to trust Him than people (Psalms 118:8). He promises that whoever believes on Him won’t act hastily (Isaiah 28:16) and will not be put to shame or disappointed (Romans 9:33). Christ is the answer to avoiding and overcoming disappointment. Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalms 55:22) Be encouraged Diamonds! God desires to get glory from our story! When we understand that, we can be assured that we have to come out on top. We win!